“ We must eradicate from the soul all fear and terror of what comes towards us, out of the future. We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensations about the future.
”
Long ago I dreamed a dream for us...
There was strong wind.
It was Summer.
The sky was full of white clouds that moved upon a dark numinous grey.
A storm brewed in the belly of the dense daunting sky.
The Earth awaited in expectant composure.
An auspicious calm filled the air with pregnant stillness.
The inner life began to stir.
A feeling of terror filled my gut and raised the hair upon my spine, upward, vertebrae by vertebrae.
The children were sleeping soundly inside the house.
I PEERED WITH MY INNER EYE OUT THE WINDOW.
The wind groaned and moaned, intensely calling my entire being to attention.
Listening within, I opened the front door and looked out upon the foreboding sky.
I could feel in my bones an infusion of awareness.
Depth of sight met my inquiry and a promise hung in the air.
I heard a sacred bell ring in the distance. Suddenly, the sky opened up.
I could perceive crystal like structures sitting upon the tip tops of the white clouds, constellating the dark upper world in alarming numbers.
The crystal structures began to slip from the clouds, cascading down one by one, falling to the earth with a quaking transformative rumble.
The Earth responded with a “hissss,” like water on heat, that lingered and meandered about in the atmosphere.
My mother heart was pulled to ensure that the children were safe.
FEAR FILLED THE FATHOMLESS DEPTHS AS THE THOUGHT OF DEATH PERMEATED MY MIND.
My inner eye was drawn to a familiar face dancing in an endless field of golden, waving wheat that stood before the house.
In the midst of the ominous unfoldings, this known person gleefully waved their hands and called to me: “Come and Play!”A part of me dismounted, wanting to forsake the vision, cast aside my fear and frolic in the fields.
The Grandfather of the moment called me back together.
I perked up my ears and watched as the crystalline structures continued to descend upon the earth.
The focus of my heart increased and I could microscopically feel that each structure was a frozen part of a mysterious unknown kingdom.
On the periphery, I noticed that wherever a structure made contact with the Earth, there was a mile circumference of surrounding land instantly covered in thick snow.
Through a soft, open gaze it was revealed to my heart of hearts that this phenomenon was happening in other places all over the face of the Earth.
The macroscopic vision washed over me, from my head to my feet.
A Foot-washing.
I experienced a call within my inner ear to pilgrimage to a nearby fallen crystalline structure.
The children were still sleeping.
I took a deep breath and gathered the surrounding courage within my lungs.
CROSSING THE THRESHOLD OF THE DOORWAY, MY HEART WAS PIERCED WITH VAST AND PRECISE SORROW.
As I traversed the lay of the land, my salty tears met the ground.
My feet became heavier and heavier, pulled closer to the Earth by the arms of thick grasses.
The nearest structure was located in a dark forest grove at the top of a large hill.
As I began the ascent, my heart galloped ahead of me.
She felt the unfathomable cold and relayed to me that the icy structure was already being guarded by someone.
A very mechanical and sterile looking building had been erected around the sight.
The guard spoke: ‘No one may enter without the proper credentials.’
Ineffable Silence held my question.
My gaze became a prayer:
“Divine Father, Divine Mother, Great Spirit, thank you for my life.”
‘I cannot’ became ‘I shall.’THE SCENT OF ROSES FILLED THE INNER CHAMBER OF MY HEART.
A sunset colored light encircled me.
WARMTH RIPENED MY INNER BEING.
The angels surrounded me.
I beheld the birth faces of my children.
Upon this sight, I arose up the hill feeling my way into the unknown.
Darkness fell upon the Earth.
My ears heard the Cosmic Symphony:
"Breadth of Space. Depth of Soul."
Then, I awoke.
I HAVE BEEN IN THE WILDERNESS OF THE AFTERGLOW OF THIS DREAM FOR 3 YEARS.
As we approach All Saints Day, wisdom wants to reveal herself through co-creation only now after many suns of contemplation.
The 33 Day Fear Fast arises as the fruit of this living labor. The tintinnabulation of the bell.
THE RESONANT TONE OF THE DREAM TRANSMUTED OVER SPACE AND TIME INTO A CREATIVE PROCESS & SPIRITUAL EXERCISE TO SERVE AS A SALVE FOR THESE TRYING TIMES WE ARE WALKING THROUGH TOGETHER.
Self-knowledge has ripened into higher-wisdom through many moons of Sacred Sleep, a gestation of moral imagination that will perhaps become the answer to your prayer.
You are invited to co-participate in this process of prayerful transformation.
A 33 Day journey into the Heart of the Matter.
A QUIET REVELATION FROM THE FERTILE DARK WOMB OF THE FUTURE.
“But when on the other hand we approach the things of the external world they always appear to us to be mingled with what we might call the ‘dark womb of the future,’ so those who look more closely will be obliged to say: ‘In everything I approach within the external world there is always something of the future.’ There is always something that repels us is we feel fear and anxiety about about whatever might befall us. The external world stands there before us as though enveloped in a dense veil. But when we generate the feeling of acceptance and the mood of prayer towards what is coming to meet us out of the dark womb of the future we discover that we can face all the beings of the external world with the same assuredness and hope that comes to meet us out of the feeling of acceptance. Whatever we might be faced with, we can then say: ‘The wisdom of the world will shine towards me!’ Whereas otherwise nothing but gloom glares at us out of everything we meet, so that darkness enters our soul, we shall now see how the sense of acceptance in us causes the feeling to arise that fundamentally it can only be through the highest which we long for and desire in our soul that the wisdom-filled content of the world will shine towards us out of everything.
So now we can say: it is the hope of enlightenment from out of our entire environment that will come to us through the mood of acceptance achieved in prayer. Just as the darkness encloses us within ourselves, just as the darkness shows us forlornness and narrowness even in our physical surroundings when we find ourselves in the gloom of night where blackness spreads all around us, so do we feel, when morning comes and the light shines upon us, how we are taken and placed outside ourselves; not, however, in a way that makes us lose ourselves but as though we were able to carry into the outside world the best will of our soul as well as the most earnest aspiration of our soul. In this way we feel how a spreading-out into the world which alienates us from ourselves is overcome by the warmth of prayer which brings us back to ourselves. And when we can bring the warmth of prayer to unfold within us until it becomes the feeling of acceptance which can flow through prayer, then the warmth of prayer will ignite and become the light of prayer. Then we shall step outside of ourselves anew, knowing: ‘If we now unite ourselves with the external world and if we turn our gaze towards all that exists in the world around us, we shall not feel scattered about and estranged from ourselves; instead we shall feel how all that is best in our soul flows out of it so that we feel united with that which shines towards us out of the world around us…
Those who look with anxiety and fear towards whatever the future may bring hinder their development and stunt the free unfolding of their soul forces. Nothing is more obstructive for the free unfolding of soul forces than are fear and anxiety about the unknown which enter the soul out of the stream of the future.
In its ideal form this state of composed resignation would consist of a soul mood that could continuously say to itself: ‘Whatever is to come, whatever the next hour, the next morning might bring, since it is entirely unknown to me I cannot change it however fearful or anxious I may feel. So I shall await it with perfect inner peace of my soul, with perfect ocean stillness of mind!’ The experience that arises out of this feeling of composed resignation towards the future has the following consequence: an individual who can live towards the future with such resignation and with perfect ocean stillness of mind, without forfeiting his energy in any way, will be able to unfold the forces of his soul most intensely, in the freest manner possible. It is as though one hindrance after another were to drop away from his soul, as though that mood were increasingly to come upon his soul which has been characterized as a ‘feeling of acceptance’ towards the events that flow towards us out of the future.
It is not possible for the soul to arrive at this feeling of composure by means of a peremptory command or an arbitrary whim. It is a feeling that results from something we might describe as the other mood of prayer, the mood of prayer which is directed towards the future and its wisdom-filled course of events. To submit to what we might call the divine wisdom in events, ever and again to call up in oneself the thought and the feeling, indeed the impulse of the life of the mind that whatever will come will be as it must, and that in one direction or another it must produce its good effects, to bring about this mood in one’s soul and to live within this mood in words, in feelings, in ideas - that is the second form of the mood of prayer, the mood of composure in prayer.
Thus the mood of prayer leads us on the one hand to a consideration of our narrowly limited ‘I’ which has worked its way from the past up until the present and which, when we examine it, clearly shows us how infinitely more there is in us than we have utilized. And on the other hand this consideration leads us into the future, showing us how infinitely more there is that can flow into our ‘I’ out of the unknown womb of the future than this ‘I’ has yet grasped in the present time. Every mood of prayer must be brought into one of these two moods. If we can take hold of this mood of prayer and make the prayer into an expression of this mood, then shall we find in the prayer itself that force which leads us out beyond our narrow self. For what is prayer of this kind other than a shining forth of the force in us that strives to go beyond what our ‘I’ has been in a specific moment! And once the ‘I’ strives fully outwards, then the force which is the force of development is alive in it. If we can learn from the past that we have more within us than we have utilized, then our prayer is a cry to the divine world to come to us, to fill us with its presence! When we have reached this understanding in our feelings, then will prayer have become the source of onward development in us. So then we shall be able to count prayer among the forces of development within our ‘I.’
And we can take the mood of prayer in a similar way with regard to the future if we are filled with fear and anxiety when faced with what the future might bring. For if that is the case we lack the composure which comes to us through prayer and which we send out towards our destinies that are hurrying towards us from out of the future and about which we have stated: the wisdom of the world has imposed them upon us. The effect of submitting to this mood of composure is different from sending out fear and anxiety towards what is approaching us. Our development is hampered by anxiety and fear. Through the waves of fear and anxiety we repel what is endeavoring to enter our soul from the future. But we approach it in fruitful hopefulness, allowing it to enter us, if we turn the direction of our life towards it in composed resignation. So this composed resignation, which appears to diminish our stature, is in fact a strong force carrying us towards the future, so that the future can enrich the content of our soul and take our development to ever-new stages.”
- Rudolf Steiner | On Fear
IN THIS LIGHT, THE 33 DAY FEAR FAST IS AN EXPERIENTIAL OPPORTUNITY TO SUBMERGE INTO THE WOMB OF DIVINE LOVE, THEREBY REFASHIONING TREPIDATION IN THE FIRE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, TRANSFORMING FEARFULNESS INTO FORTITUDE.
The 33 Day Fear Fast is a call to arise consciously into the healing balm of Sacred Sleep, thereby nourishing the birth of a prayerful heart - a heart that can reverently bend a knee to the dark womb of the future that shines towards one out of everything.
This journey is a curated weaving of the WORD of 7 different souls who have traversed the seas of dread and dismay with exceptional sanctimony.
The unique constellation of the following divine beings will resound in the inner ear:
Rudolf SteinerDennis KlocekAnne Katherine EmmerichAdriana KouliasEstelle IsaccsonValentin TombergSri Aurobindo+
AN 8TH OVERARCHING AND SYNTHESIZING VOICE WILL BE THAT OF JEAN-YVES LELOUP & THE GNOSTIC WISDOM OF JESUS.
The willingness of those listed above to toil through the realms of fear with composed resignation & fruitful hopefulness provides a supersensible flow of forces through their unified visionary voice.
THE CONSTELLATED READINGS WILL PROVIDE A DOORWAY THROUGH WHICH THE LISTENER CAN ENTER EVER MORE CONSCIOUSLY, COURAGEOUSLY AND HEART-FULLY INTO THE UNKNOWN.
As we enter ever deeper into fertile womb of Winter may we each come to know the ally of fear on this ever-winding path of self-knowledge that - through the reverential, ‘all-seeing’ eye of the heart - becomes the light of world-wisdom - SHE - Sophia.
THE DAILY BREAD YOU SHALL RECEIVE:
🌷You will receive DAILY by email one short transmissional recording of a reading taken from multiple visionary texts either written or directly inspired by Sophia herself + an inner soul quality to concentrate upon while listening to the recorded primal word.
IMPORTANT NOTE: You will be asked to weave the golden thread of each reading, capturing the tone and essence in symbolic form, carrying this thread of continuity with you into your dreamtime space in order that you may receive the most out of this experience.
🌷In addition you will receive a final TRANSMISSION co-created by myself and Anthroposophia that will serve to synthesize all of the transmissional readings within your being.
🌷Finally, you will be given the opportunity to gather with me & others on this journey for a two hour “Communion Call” at the end of the 33-day journey to share in a Communion of Souls & break bread with the Cosmic Heart of your Fear Fast Experience.
NOTE:
This is a SELF-WORK based in Spiritual Science, rooted in Living Anthroposophy and originating from the Esoteric Christian Realms.
TUITION:
$33-$333 Sliding Scale
WHO:
Those called to transubstantiate FEAR into LOVE on behalf of all humanity.
WHEN:
SELF-STUDY beginning at a time of your choosing!
REGISTER NOW!
Make your TUITION PAYMENT in order to participate in this sacred process & receive the Celestial Cascade of Medicinal Readings straight to your inbox!
Once you complete the Registration Process, you will receive a SIGN-IN link which will commence the 33-Day Fear Fast experience.
As mentioned above, TUITION is $33-$333 Sliding Scale
*It is good to place your hands over your heart and ask for the contribution amount to make itself known.
**TAKE NOTE OF THE INSPIRED NUMBER AND PROCEED ACCORDINGLY.
{Have no FEAR in the number you receive…a 1st step in this 33-Day Fear Fast.}
